Humor from alum


julia_set(There’s got to be a chemistry joke in there somewhere about humours and aluminium.)

So I’m cleaning my office, and I’m cleaning out my Inbox too (I was briefly down to under 200 messages — woo hoo!  Then the summer ended.), and I ran across a couple of pieces that a couple of our alumni had sent me over the past year.

Here’s the first:

Proof that Dating is  Evil:

First we state that dating requires time and money.

Dating = Time \times Money

And we all know “time is money”.

Time = Money


Dating = Money \times Money = (Money)^2

And because “money is the root of all evil”:

Money = \sqrt{Evil}


Dating = (\sqrt{Evil})^2

And we are forced to conclude that:

Dating = Evil.

The second piece is a link to a page with a lot of comics and quotes, which seems to be updated at least periodically (since there is one piece from the Monthly in 2009).  For lots of distractions and ways to avoid ever getting that Inbox cleaned out, check out this site.

Thanks Lacey and Sarah!  And while I’m at it, the original piece was a proof that Girls are Evil, sent by a female alumna to me, a female professor of hers, but after going back and forth a bit I decided to change it to be gender-neutral.

3 Responses to “Humor from alum”

  1. Chris Says:

    I’ve seen this exact equation joke except it is Women = Time x Money. This way is a little less sexist I suppose.

  2. Avi Steiner Says:

    But (sqrt(evil))^2 = |evil| ! So, in truth, dating is absolute evil.

  3. TwoPi Says:

    Avi: I believe you have that backwards. sqrt(x^2) = |x| is an identity on the entire real line, while (sqrt(x))^2 = x is an identity on [0, infty), whose left hand side is only defined if x is nonnegative.

    Perhaps the root of all evil is complex?

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